When it comes to luxury wedding planning, attention to detail is not reserved for the bride alone. Today’s groom is expected to show up with equal poise, style, and intentionality, bringing a distinct presence that matches the sophisticated tone of the celebration.
At Emily Coyne Events, we understand that the modern groom plays a meaningful and multidimensional role, from visual presentation to social etiquette and personal expression. This guide outlines essential components of grooming, fashion, speeches, and presence, all curated through a polished lens.
1. The Modern Groom: Defined by Discretion and Precision
Gone are the days of the groom as a secondary figure. In high-end celebrations, both partners are central to the guest experience and overall design narrative. The modern groom’s approach is rooted in thoughtfulness, cultural awareness, and understated sophistication.
Stylishness is not about excess. It’s about aligning every choice with the tone of the event while staying true to personal identity. This guide explores how to navigate that balance with clarity and purpose.
2. Grooming: Polished, Not Overproduced
Well-executed grooming is the foundation of presence. It’s not about reinvention—it’s about improvement. The goal is to appear clean, confident, and composed without looking overly styled.
Hair and Facial Grooming
Schedule a professional haircut 5–7 days prior to the wedding, allowing time for the look to settle. Avoid experimenting with new styles. If facial hair is worn, it should be intentional, whether neatly trimmed or clean-shaven. Even a casual beard must appear purposeful.
If the wedding spans multiple days, consider touch-up appointments in advance for consistency across events. For destination weddings, this may require coordination with a trusted stylist or a vetted local professional.
Skin Care and Complexion
Clear, healthy skin photographs well. Begin a simple, professional skincare regimen 2–3 months before the wedding, ideally curated by a dermatologist or licensed esthetician. Focus on hydration, tone, and texture rather than aggressive treatments close to the date.
Consider booking a professional facial two weeks prior to the wedding day. For on-the-day grooming, light concealer, mattifying powder, or blotting papers may be used under the guidance of a professional groomer or stylist, particularly for camera-heavy events.
3. Attire: Precision Over Trend
What the groom wears should quietly command attention, not with flash, but with fit and craftsmanship. Whether black tie, white tie, or a custom dress code, style is expressed through precision.
Tailoring is Non-Negotiable
Regardless of whether a tuxedo or suit is selected, the garment must be tailored impeccably. Off-the-rack solutions rarely deliver the polish required for luxury weddings. Partner with a reputable tailor who understands proportion, structure, and balance.
Shoulders, sleeve length, pant break, and collar fit should be precise. A poor fit, even in the finest fabric, diminishes the overall impression.
Fabric and Construction
Opt for natural fabrics such as wool, silk, or cotton blends. Synthetic materials often reflect poorly in photographs and compromise breathability. Prioritize structured garments with clean lines and minimal bulk.
Avoid overt trends or extreme silhouettes. A peak or shawl lapel tuxedo, for instance, remains timeless and appropriate across a variety of settings.
Personalization, Subtly Executed
Custom linings, monograms, or button choices can reflect personal style, but should remain discreet. A well-chosen pocket square, watch, or pair of cufflinks can uplift the look when selected with intention and restraint.
Footwear should be high quality, well-polished, and fully broken in prior to the event. This includes backup pairs for outdoor events or multi-day celebrations.
4. Speech Etiquette: Composed and Considered
The groom’s speech, whether delivered at a rehearsal dinner or during the reception, is a defining moment of connection. While the tone can be warm, the delivery must be structured, sincere, and thoughtfully executed.
Structure and Preparation
Avoid improvisation. A brief, organized speech that respects time and audience attention will always be more powerful than an off-the-cuff moment.
Start with gratitude. Acknowledge key figures like parents, in-laws, the wedding party, and any guests who made significant efforts to attend. Follow with a meaningful reflection or anecdote, then close with a toast to the partner or the future.
Limit the speech to 3–5 minutes. Practicing aloud and editing for clarity ensures a confident delivery.
Tone and Delivery
Speak slowly and with clarity. Emotional sincerity is welcome, but composure should remain intact. Avoid inside jokes, casual slang, or overly embellished stories that may alienate portions of the audience.
If humor is used, ensure it is respectful, inclusive, and relevant. The goal is to uplift, not entertain at the expense of sophistication.
5. Role and Presence: Active, Not Peripheral
Luxury weddings are about presence. The groom is not a guest of honor—he is one half of the host couple. This comes with clear responsibilities, both visible and behind the scenes.
Hosting with Intention
From welcome cocktails to farewell brunches, the groom should actively greet, thank, and engage with guests. Awareness of social flow and energy is essential. Make introductions, offer refreshments, and create a sense of inclusion, particularly for extended family and out-of-town guests.
Body language matters. Standing tall, smiling, and making eye contact may seem simple, but these signals shape the guest experience.
Managing Logistics Gracefully
While much of the coordination may be handled by wedding planners, grooms should remain informed and responsive. Confirm attire fittings, arrival times, and communications in advance. Reliability and professionalism help prevent last-minute disruptions.
A well-prepared groom does not need to micromanage, but should remain visible, punctual, and steady in tone.
6. Wedding Party Leadership: Clarity Without Complexity
Grooms often coordinate with groomsmen or co-attendants, guiding attire, schedules, and responsibilities. These leadership moments should be clear, respectful, and low-friction.
Setting Expectations
Share a concise timeline, attire guide, and responsibilities document early. Rehearsal timing, photography slots, and toasts should be communicated clearly and reiterated the week of the wedding.
Avoid a tone that feels managerial or overly casual. A shared note or message from the wedding planner can help establish formality while maintaining harmony.
Creating Unity Without Uniformity
Coordinated attire does not mean identical outfits. Offer guidelines that allow for small variations, like tie styles, cufflinks, or pocket squares, while keeping the overall look cohesive. This supports inclusivity and allows groomsmen to feel both aligned and comfortable.
If investment differences exist among members of the party, address attire options early to avoid discomfort.
7. Cultural and Family Awareness: Respect as the Standard
The modern groom often navigates diverse cultural or family dynamics. Whether blending traditions or hosting multi-faith ceremonies, grace lies in active listening, respectful engagement, and thoughtful inclusion.
Traditions and Symbolism
Incorporate family or cultural rituals with full understanding and alignment. If wearing traditional attire for certain events, consult directly with elders or cultural advisors to ensure accuracy and respect.
Participation in these moments is not performative—it should reflect understanding and genuine connection.
Supporting the Partner
A groom’s role is not only personal—it is relational. Supporting the partner emotionally, logistically, and socially throughout the weekend is part of showing up with presence.
Simple, consistent gestures, carrying essentials, checking in, or managing minor stressors, demonstrate quiet leadership and maturity.
8. On the Day: Navigating Timing and Energy
Wedding days are dynamic. A composed groom is one who anticipates challenges, moves with awareness, and keeps emotional and logistical pace with the event.
Time Awareness
Stick to the timeline. From grooming appointments to first-look photos and transportation departures, punctuality ensures that the entire team and guest experience remain on course.
Allow extra buffer time for transitions. Rushing creates stress and affects posture, mood, and presence.
Handling Unforeseen Issues
If unexpected issues arise, as they sometimes do, the groom should remain steady. Planners will manage most issues, but an overreaction or visible frustration can cause unnecessary ripple effects.
Have a trusted point person (best man, planner, or coordinator) handle non-critical matters so emotional focus remains where it should be.
9. Style Continuity Throughout the Weekend
The groom’s attire and tone should align across the entire wedding weekend, not just the ceremony. Each event is a touchpoint in the guest journey and should feel consistent and enhanced.
Welcome Events and Rehearsals
For welcome events and rehearsal dinners, choose outfits that reflect your style and feel comfortable, while keeping the venue in mind. Tailored pieces, quality fabrics, and tones that compliment the venue.
Accessories, such as watches, sunglasses, and footwear, should follow the same principle: understated and polished.
After-Parties and Farewell Brunches
Even as the formality dips, the style should remain intentional. A cashmere sweater over a collared shirt, or a linen suit with loafers, is appropriate for daytime events. Athleticwear or distressed denim diminishes the tone.
Wherever guests encounter the groom, the experience should feel aligned with the weekend’s overarching stylishness.
10. Scent as Signature: Fragrance Selection for the Groom
Fragrance is often overlooked, yet it’s one of the most memorable sensory details of a personal presence. A well-chosen scent doesn’t overpower but lingers subtly, creating a distinguished aura that aligns with the tone of the event. The goal is to select a fragrance that complements the setting, season, and overall styling without becoming the focal point.
When choosing a fragrance, consider notes that reflect the environment: warmer, spiced profiles for fall and winter weddings; lighter, citrus or herbaceous notes for spring and summer. Woody, musky, or leather-based scents tend to convey style and depth, while aquatic or overly sweet fragrances can feel casual or out of place.
Avoid last-minute selections. Fragrances should be worn and tested several weeks prior to the wedding to ensure they wear well with your natural body chemistry. Stick to one scent across the weekend for continuity, ideally applied sparingly at pulse points and refreshed only when needed.
For destination weddings or multi-day celebrations, consider bringing a travel-size version of your chosen scent to maintain consistency. Like tailoring and grooming, fragrance is a final, invisible layer that communicates presence and discretion.
11. Packing the Groom’s Essentials Kit
A thoughtfully packed essentials kit ensures composure throughout the wedding day. Even the most seamless events can present minor disruptions, which is why being prepared prevents these from becoming visible stress points. The kit should be discreet, easily accessible (via a groomsman, planner, or best man), and tailored to the event’s specific needs.
Suggested contents include:
- Fragrance (small atomizer or travel-sized bottle)
- Breath mints or discreet mouth spray
- Lint roller for last-minute suit touch-ups
- Collar stays and extra cufflinks
- Handkerchief for both functional and symbolic use
- Blotting papers or mattifying powder to reduce shine in photos
- Travel-size deodorant
- Sewing kit (with threads matching your attire)
- Stain remover pen
- Hydration tablets or bottled water
- A copy of your speech (printed or digitally saved)
This kit should not be mistaken for a cosmetic bag. Its purpose is not self-care—it’s event readiness. When packed intentionally and carried discreetly, it supports the goal of appearing calm, collected, and fully present from first photos to final farewells.
Partnering with Emily Coyne Events
At Emily Coyne Events, we bring depth and clarity to every facet of the wedding weekend, including the groom’s experience. From styling consultations to day-of logistics, our certified wedding planners ensure that both partners are equally considered, supported, and presented with poise.
Our LA wedding planning approach respects the modern groom’s evolving role, ensuring their presence is not only visible but meaningfully felt.
Take your wedding experience to the next level with precision and poise. At Emily Coyne Events, we guide every detail, from grooming and attire to speech etiquette, with expert insight.
Let our wedding coordinators help you craft a wedding weekend where both partners are equally represented, effortlessly sophisticated, and truly unforgettable. Discover how Emily Coyne Events crafts experiences where both partners are equally represented and every detail speaks to timeless sophistication.